Have you ever experienced a feeling when a negative thought of what happened in the past would suddenly resurface from your thoughts? The only thing you can do for those brief seconds would be to shudder while the memory repeats itself. Sometimes, I would think and analyze what I could have done differently in those cases. Playing around with the thought of “what ifs” and “eh kasi naman”. Then you instinctively reach out for your device and type a status. Did you feel relieved?
I recently read in an article which was circulated online that the Philippines is the Social Media Capital of the world. Huwaw! Blog Blog Blooog! Ilabas sa social media ang mga feelings, emotions. May it be happy, sad, brag-kind of day, angry, pissed off (ay pareho lang), excited, hopeful, feeling sexy, I’m sure nakapag post na tayo either on twitter, facebook, tumblr and other social media sites. Sometimes we get likes or replies and feel elated that people read what you have to say. It makes you feel connected to the world.
The past couple of months were terrible for me. I went through an ordeal na I wish wala akong friends na pagdaanan. It was ka-level ng moment ko na sinabihan ako ng doctor “You have cancer”, it was a feeling like betrayal. I went online fuming trying to pick the right words to type. I think nakaisip pa nga ako ng mga words na buti naman hindi ko na type. So na type ko sa status ko sa FB was “Sad”. Eh kasi Sad nga naman ako nuon. Meron pang “judge judge thing” akong na post sa instagram. My husband got mad at me for posting emo-related kind of statuses on my accounts. He told me to remove it, remove all of it which I think I did. Never post negative emotions online. He explained to me that even if you felt compelled to tell the world that you have been cheated, bullied and chastised by other people doesn’t make it proper to express those feelings online. Other people won’t understand you, they might even pre-judge. Isa pa, makakarating sa mga nakahurt sa iyo yan. Napaisip ako, OO nga, why did I do those things? Normal mechanism ng tao na pag feeling inapi, naghahanap ng kakampi. The me wanted to get supporters, people who would side with me, but to be honest will they understand me? But when you get likes, comments from your posts, will it change the situation? Nope. It even made matters worse.
One thing I learned is to control my emotions online. I created guidelines on what to post. Post only happy thoughts and inspirational messages (kung pwede original, kasi pag puro quote medyo nilalampasan ko lang ng basa). If feeling sad, I will stay away from the computer and refrain from posting anything. Better to have a clean slate rather than have people clicking the screenshot button.
Some emotions are meant to be shared with your closest of friends and family. These people are the ones who respects you, and accepts you for who you really are. I guess what I’m just trying to say is be careful, responsible and fair of what you post online. The world though interestingly is an ideal outlet of your inner most feelings may not be that accepting of who we are individually.